Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
