you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
