Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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