hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
