i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
