I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
