You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
