Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
