Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
