I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
