4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
