I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize