Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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