I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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