put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Is it because I queefed?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
