the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
