I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
