You work out of a Hotel?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize