NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize