no you cant smoke seaweed
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
