Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
