You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
