weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Those nachos came to me in a dream
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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