Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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