Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
They should really pass out barf bags in church
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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