She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
