No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
