She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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