:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
