I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
