hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
nutella sex= disaster
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
