I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
