i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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