As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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