The maid of honor just puked.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
