i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
