His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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