So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
