well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
