I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
