shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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