I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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