he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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