I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
please come you make the beer taste better
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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