...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize