ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
