your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
