She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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