We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
