dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
