She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
