it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
