:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i think i have two assholes
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
