From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
