we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
