At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
