your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
